Hans said we were lucky, he could squeeze us in on one little table for two. Amster­dam on a bank holiday weekend and almost every dining space was filled.

From the guidebook, Hans’s place sounded quirky. The sort of restaurant that you go to and eat what you are told. Almost like school dinners except with white napery, silverware and lots of alcohol, Utrechtsedwarstafel is the type of place where you go to be gently bullied and come away satisfied, and with some new piece of culinary knowledge.

Run by Hans and his part­ner Igor, the restaurant provides heavenly fare for all different types of budget. You can sit down and have three basic courses and wine, or move up the ranks to the five deluxe courses with a different glass of incredibly fine wine with each course.

Of all the cities in the world, Amsterdam is not famed for its food. Other things — sex, drugs, canals, Van Gogh’s paintings, Anne Frank’s house — yes, but not its food.

Native Dutch cuisine is not really memorable or inspir­ing, though It is influenced from cookery from all round the world. We had tried herring, pancakes, frîtes with mayonnaise, belegde broodjes — crusty rolls stuffed with a variety of fillings — and even chucked a shoarma kebab down our necks while standing on a canal bridge. All good but we had eaten nothing that we could use as food-bore dinner party conversation.

We did learn that by combining ingredients from Indonesia, Surinam and ‘Rirkey, Amsterdam had fusion cuisine before other chefs even invented it The famous Rijsttafel — a plate of rice or noodles accompan­ied by lots of little spicy side dishes can be wonderful, and the Portuguese tapas proved to be better than some of the Spanish tapas bund in London.

But it was Igor and Hans who gave Amsterdam a mark as a place for good food. First there was the glass of rosé pergolino, perfect for a warm night. Then the question put o every guest: is there any type of food you do not like? Then there was a little luck rillettes with courni­chons, some terrine of Irish smoked salmon and sole with marinated Dutch asparagus and fillet of Aberdeen Angus beef with broad beans, asparagus and, red wine reduction. Each course was hand delivered and explained in detail by Igor, who works alone in the kitchen, and accompanied by a wine specially selected and progeny dissected by Hans. The dessert wine -  a Riesling from the Kuentz-Bas vineyard -  could only be produced every four years, he said, because that was when a fine mist descended on the grapes, causing a fungus to form on the skin that allows the juices to ferment and producing a sweet confection.

Simply watching these two men whirl around in the middle of this strange restau­rant left school-kid grins on our faces. We seemed to like being bullied.

Later, Hans told us a story that made us realise that he didn’t take too kindly to people who didn’t like doing what they were told. Just days before he had thrown four culinary journal­ists out after they decided to leave his restaurant without eating his food or paying a cover charge. After locking them in and calling the police, Hans decided to let them go.

One of the journalists had asked for a salad. Hans and Igor don’t do salads. You take what you get at Utrechtsed­warstafel, but what you get is fantastic.

 Eating out

• Utrechtsedwarstafel Utrechtsedwarsstraat 107-109

Eat and drink what you are given in this fantastically eclectic restaurant with no menu. Matrix price list vary­ing from fl75 (£21) for three basic courses with wine, to fl195 (£54) for five deluxe courses with wine. Our dinner for two including wine cost fl280 (£77).